13 Things
I have always had a tough time with big decisions. Don’t get me wrong - once they are made I love it, but the time of decision weighs on me as I consider all the options. I get that syndrome called analysis paralysis. Have you had that happen? I mean, the cheese aisle is hard enough but life keeps throwing me curve balls and there are too many options!
The other night my husband and I were chatting on the porch and realized that over the past 13 years we've made literally thousands of choices as a couple. We recounted many of the most significant ones and realized something. We had so much to be thankful for! Ordinary people shared their wisdom with us at the perfect time.
So, in honor of those to shared with us, I decided to reflect on those crossroad decisions. Each comes with a story, but for now, I offer you...My Thirteen Most Influential Decisions in 13 years of Marriage (in no particular order):
Education - We chose to homeschool our kids, even though I always swore I never would. Never say never! Now that I’m over a decade in, I’m loving how the siblings get to spend so much time together and how discipleship doesn’t happen in the corners of life, but all day. Think you can’t do it? Listen to this podcast episode. Want to learn how but you just don’t feel equipped, contact me. I’d love to encourage you with God’s Word and pray for you as you make this important decision.
Birth Control - Natural Family Planning has been our most preferred method and I found out about it 1 month before I got married! If you’d like to know more about how birth control has been used to abort babies, read this. God says children are a blessing, and He’s definitely taken me on a sweet journey toward living this out as true!
Finances - Someone paid our way to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and we slowly worked out way through all 7 steps. I figured I'd be 80 before that happened, and it was all thanks to a little coconut cream popsicle, and my husband's parents.
Health Care - Samaritan Ministries continues to bless our family as an alternative to traditional health care options. We've had several babies for free and other conditions that would have bankrupted us if we used insurance. Because of SM, our bills were shared by other loving people across the country.
Parenting - There are too many good child discipline books out there. I decided early on to skip reading them all, or ever 1!! It can get confusing! But when my first baby was 6 months old, we read the material in John Mahon's Family Discipleship Seminar workbooks. It laid the foundation for our family, taking us little by little into a healthy and calm parenting style that doesn't lower God's standard of obedience. We are trusting in God, not a system, and that's what his resources are all about. Shepherding a Child's Heart by Ted Tripp has also positively affected our family, but I want to honor John Mahon, especially, because he's tracked with us and the application of his teachings from the Bible are so practical and Christ-centered.
Habit Training - Charlotte Mason has greatly impacted how we develop good habits in our children. This is a slow process, but helps me from choosing too many things at once to work on with the kids. In short, it keeps me sane!
Scripture Memory - The Navigators have a scripture memory method called the Topical Memory System that we imperfectly and enthusiastically implement. If you’d like inspiration on how to start your own memory study club (We call it Fight Club at our church) then let me know and I’ll get my husband to help get you started.
Family Values/God’s Values - Our family values haven't changed because they were based on scripture and because we took some real time to answer a TON of questions from a friend who does consulting for businesses. But over the years we’ve learned that it’s not some set of words that helps most when making decisions, but knowing what God’s values are. So reading scripture together has shaped our values more than any special list we could create.
Simple Lifestyle - A book titled Revolution in World Missions changed our outlook on a "need" versus a "want" in life. We continually go back to our values and have regular times of purging unnecessary material things and having a hard look at our schedule. In Knee-Jerk Mom, my book, I talk all about how to use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix and The Jar to help our family figure out what to keep and what to say no to. Check out this podcast episode for more info.
Eating - A health coaching friend of ours challenged our thinking about the cost of healthy foods and gave us confidence to eat within a budget in a healthy way. She brought fun into our kitchen. So many fads come and go but there is much freedom if we pay attention to the difference between hunger and gluttony, thirst and drunkenness.
Adult vs Child Centered Home - This is too big to write a one-liner, but, in short, we have an adult-centered home where children are loved and welcome.
Technology - This came from my husband, who had no TV when we got married, and asked me to get rid of mine. What do we do now that I can't watch Netflix to my heart's content?! Now with kids, we have done many many different things over the years. Sometimes we’ve had a screen for movies, sometimes it’s just a family iPad. At this point we have a checkout system.
Working Outside the Home - I chose to stay at home, regardless of my husband's paycheck. This is obviously tied very closely to #9 and #3. This was a heart-level decision on my part before the Lord and challenges me even today, as I probably almost applied for another job I don't really want. If you want to hear about the journey, get my book Knee-Jerk Mom where I talk all about my aspirations and God’s plans. I’ve been pleasantly surprised along the way but there’s been disappointments to work through as well.
